How many languages do you speak?

Well?
A few.
English, Spanish, and Italian. I understand enough Italian to function if necessary.

Ask me anything

What’s your favorite board game?

I love Risk. I love the strategy involved. I also like Monopoly. There’s nothing like screwing people over with fake money and watching them rage quit after 2 hours of playing.

Ask me anything

Retrospection, part 1

You know, I’ve been looking back on my life, and I’ve realized I’ve been through a whole lot of crap this last year.
I’ve had my life turned sideways and completely upside down. You know something I’ve realized? I’ve realized that I have a high tolerance for BS. Most people would freak out and probably have a mental breakdown if they had to put up with some of the stuff I’ve had to put up with this last year. Just so you know…..I haven’t had my world go to….well, that’s a lie. I HAVE had my entire world pretty much go to Hell this year. No, no hand basket. Just Hell. I’ve had several life-changing events unfurl themselves right in front of my eyes, and I didn’t nothing but shrug them off and go “Meh….it happens.”
Let me frame this by saying I’m not doing this for pity. I’m not doing this for attention. I’m not doing this for a movie. I’m doing this for a more pure reason: catharsis. I need to just let it out there (not that I already haven’t on my friends, they know who they are) to get it off of my soul.
There’s been a lot of crap I’ve been through in my life. My family has come from having almost nothing to where we are now, so if there is anyone out there that believes that a person is in control of their own destiny, it’s me. You can be as weak our as powerful as you want to be. You’re the one that has the ultimate control over what your outcome is. That’s why I don’t believe in fate, or a “divine plan”, because I don’t believe I that I don’t have control over my own life.

The Shackles

Anyways, I digress. I’ve everything happen to me this last year from death in the family to being arrested. Yes, you read me correctly. I got arrested.
Being as wacky as it is, I’ll start with that, first. I was arrested last year in October, for a busted tail light.
Here’s why, though:
Late October, 2009, I had just started working at Apple, and I was coming home after a long shift. I had stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed on my way home. After making a left turn on the main street to get to my neighborhood, I saw police lights behind me, and pulled over.
The police officer asked me if I realized that my tail light was out. I didn’t even realize my tail light was out., so I responded “No, I am on my way home from work.” get a ticket for it. I was just around the corner from my house. I was only about a quarter mile from it. The next day, I get a new bulb, put it in my car, and went on about my life. It was something really small, ya know? I just went on about my life. Reasonable answer, right?

Fast forward a year to October, 2010…..I had just had a long shift. I was really tired. I had just stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed on my way home. I was making a left turn on the main street outside my neighborhood……stop me if any of this is sounding familiar, okay?
I was asked if I realized my tail light was out. I said “No, I’m just now coming home from work.”
I even told them that I was literally like a quarter mile from my house. I even pointed to it for them. I even told them that I had an extra one at home just in case my light went out, because I knew it was almost time for one. Like…..I could have walked to my house and just changed it.
I was asked to step out of the car, and I was asked if it was okay to have my car searched. I didn’t consent to it. I was then asked if I was up to any illegal activity. My thought process at this point was “Really? Seriously? The fuck? I can see my house from here, and you aren’t just going to let me go? Then, want to ask me if I’m up to any illegal activity? Don’t you have someone else to harass?” Honestly, I think I could have counted like 4 people who were doing more things illegal than I was at that moment in time, including the officer, himself. Seriously….he had to speed to beat the light to catch me. In the immortal words of Ed Lover, COME ON, SON
I was then asked to step out of my car. I was told that I’d be searched, and that I was going to be arrested because I had warrants for my arrest. Yeah….something about vehicle operation citation or something. I don’t know. For those of you playing at home….yes….I got arrested….for a busted tail light.
The police officer, while searching me, said “Please just relax, this is going to happen. It will several more times.”
You don’t have to patronize me, or treat me like I’m going to fight back. I’m not. I’m freaking 12 seconds from home. Honestly, just let me go. I’m right freaking there. You can see my dad’s room from here.
I was then searched. I was asked the standard barrage of questions. You know…if I had any weapons, anything sharp or something of the like that would stick them. I even recited, from memory, what I had in my pockets.
“Nothing but the pens in my left pocket from work. I have about 7 of them. I also have one more in my right pocket. I’ve got money and receipts in my back left pocket, lose change in my left front pocket, and my iPhone in my back right pocket.”
Literally, from memory. They gave me this look like I had it prepared or something. I saw the look they gave each other. It’s that look that only people who are enforcing laws give. It’s that look that says “Okay, he did that way too well. Take note.”
I was then asked for a search of my car.
I didn’t consent to that. I saw no reason to. They had no probable cause for anything.
They threatened to impound my car if I didn’t have someone to pick it up.
Weren’t you fucking listening? I just said my dad was home, and I’m really, really close to my house. I have no reason to lie. I swear, if you say that I can’t call my dad to have him pick up my car, I swear to effing GOD……I’m freaking reporting you.
I had two different police SUVs with me, too. I wasn’t even going to try anything. I just wasn’t really happy at this point, because I had been told that I was being arrested. I was also told that I couldn’t contact my dad. The response I got to it was a very short: “Don’t worry about that. You’ll get plenty of time to do that later.”
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind my local police officers. They are a happy medium when it comes to a police force in the area. You have some really nice cops, and some absolute pricks. Most of them are pretty much somewhere right in the middle. This pretty true for any group of people in the area of town that I live in. In fact, I’ll categorically go on to say that this applies to every group of people in the world. You have your top tier A-holes, rich, exceptional, etc. Then, you have your bottom tier laid back, poor, talentless, etc. The fact still remains that about 92 to 95 percent of people fit somewhere in the middle, with small deviations in the levels of whatever category they are in. I am, of course, referring to the bell curve, for those of you that are paying attention.
Back on topic, I was told to wait outside my car for a moment, and that’s when I sent a text message to my dad. I told him that I was pulled over and that he needed to come get my car. When he asked where I was, I even told him I was just around the corner. I even told him, verbatim “They are arresting me,” in the text message. It was really stupid. I later found out that my dad rode one of the bikes in the house to go pick it up. He really didn’t have to, he could have just walked.
After the second officer got out of his squad SUV, that’s when they asked me if I had anyone to pick up my car.
Un-be-FUCKING-lieveable. You’re just NOW asking me this shit? I’ve been nothing but respectful to you. I have even rationally, coherently, and systematically cooperated. The least you could do is treat me with some of the same courtesy in return.
This is the point where I was irate. I was so annoyed I just didn’t say anything. I didn’t say any more words that I needed to use.
“Do you have someone to pick up your car for you?”
Yes.
“Who?”
My dad.
“Where is he?”
(While I nod at my house, which is literally visible from our spot. You can even see my dad looking out of the window at something)At home.
(The officers even look at my house at this point)
“Do you know when he will be here?”
“Directly. He’s looking at us right now.”
“Well, can you call him really quick, then?”
(in my head) Motherfucker, I’m handcuffed. How the FUCK do you expect me to call him!? ESP? I guess I can yell at him from here. I’m sure he’d hear me. Wouldn’t look good to other people around, though. They’d think I was being beat by the cops or something. Fuck, you could have just let me call him BEFORE you handcuffed me, you know.
(aloud) “Yes, I can. My phone is in my pocket. It’s in the one with all the change in it.”

After I called my dad and told him to come pick me up, I told him which city had picked me up. They told me I’d be out as soon as I paid that other ticket. That was a bit of misdirection, as well. While I was in the squad SUV, they said they could get me in front of a judge by the morning if that was okay with me. Of course, that was unacceptable for me. I had to go to work in the morning. Actually, I was still in my work clothes when they picked me up. Seriously, I was in the jeans and blue Specialist shirt I always wear on the floor.
After getting out, the one thing I realized is that I hadn’t said a word after I got to the jail. I didn’t say a single word after that (that wasn’t at work) for something like 3 days.
I spent most of the night in holding until my dad paid the ticket and took me home. I know he was lecturing me in the car about something, but I wasn’t even listening anymore. I was too mad, too tired, and not in the mood to listen to him force-feed me some of his “this world is a hard place to live in” gloom-and-doom bullshit.

Even after all of that, I got up the next day (I say “got up”, because I never went to sleep), took a shower, got dressed, and went to work, as if nothing ever happened. I didn’t even bat an eyelash. I just kept going, as if nothing ever happened. I don’t even think anyone ever realized that I had an incredibly bad night and didn’t sleep again.

The kicker here? This isin’t the most fucked up thing that’s happened to me in 2010. Can you believe that?